All I ever wanted be

When I was younger and even after I married my love. My mom kept saying you need to have a career something you love but I had all I needed all I ever wanted to be in life was a housewife and a mom,not a doctor or lawyer or some other profession just simply a mother. I knew in my heart it would be the only job for me mothers are all professions rolled into one. You are a doctor,a teacher,a friend,a disciplinarian and a mother. You are responsible for being their whole world upto a certain point and you are their rock when they can’t be strong. Mother is God in the eyes of a child. The best thing was I was living my dream I had it all and it was enough. I use to get so angry at my mom when she would say this because I was thinking you were a mother and housewife so why do you not think that is important. I kept thinking hes never gonna leave me we aren’t going to divorce that wasn’t why we married. I never thought it could be that she seen what was coming and I didn’t that she knew in all her wisdom their was things far worse than divorce waiting in my future. The day he passed away I knew it though I was hit in the face with a dose of reality like no other and I remember people saying shes in shock it hasn’t sunk in yet but I wasn’t I was in the least amount of shock to me because I’d just viewed the body of what use to be my love it was cold nit warm like him it was lifeless which wasn’t him either. The pain I felt that day I would never forget never shake it was like the earth gave way between where we were standing and where we are now. It crumbled like a mountain in the most violent earth quake ever. Fate just bitch slapped me and now I would know exactly what my mother had been saying was right. The only problem was it wasn’t just me it was those babies down the hall too. I was determained we were gonna make it through as much as I didn’t want to I was going to take this new reality and turn it into something great and keep us going I was all they had left and I only half a person was going to become enough. I was going to make sure they knew they were loved taken care of taught to be strong. I was not going to fail them I would once again be their everything because I had to be. We did it my love we did it together even if I couldn’t see you I could feel you every step of the way!

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